John's Jewels
Here, presented below for you enjoyment is a compendium of time wasting, e-mail inbox hogging, internet junk that has been forwarded to me via e-mail by various colleagues, friends and family members who obviously have nothing better to do with their time and resources!Thursday, January 23, 2014
THIS CAME FROM ENGLAND Checking
out at the supermarket, the young cashier suggested to the much older
woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because Plastic bags
weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
The young cashier responded, "That's our problem today - your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the 'green thing' in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles and beer bottles to the shop. The shop sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Grocery shops bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we re- used for numerous things, most memorable besides household bags for rubbish, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school), was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalized our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have a lift in every supermarket, shop and office building. We walked to the local shop and didn't climb into a 300 horsepower machine every time we had to go half a mile.
But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's Terry Towel nappies because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy- gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids had hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Back then, we had one radio or TV in the house - not a TV in every room and the TV had a small screen the size of a big handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Scotland In the kitchen. We blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We pushed the mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their Mums into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $50,000 People Carrier which cost the same as a whole house did before the "green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances and we didn't need a computerised gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest Pub!
But isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart arse young person...
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to xxxx us off...especially from a xxxxx smartarse who can't work out the change without the cash register telling them how much it is!
Here endeth the xxx lesson!
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
The young cashier responded, "That's our problem today - your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the 'green thing' in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles and beer bottles to the shop. The shop sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Grocery shops bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we re- used for numerous things, most memorable besides household bags for rubbish, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school), was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalized our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have a lift in every supermarket, shop and office building. We walked to the local shop and didn't climb into a 300 horsepower machine every time we had to go half a mile.
But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's Terry Towel nappies because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy- gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids had hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Back then, we had one radio or TV in the house - not a TV in every room and the TV had a small screen the size of a big handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Scotland In the kitchen. We blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We pushed the mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their Mums into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $50,000 People Carrier which cost the same as a whole house did before the "green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances and we didn't need a computerised gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest Pub!
But isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart arse young person...
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to xxxx us off...especially from a xxxxx smartarse who can't work out the change without the cash register telling them how much it is!
Here endeth the xxx lesson!
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had Lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is Engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been
Married for over 20 years.
We were chatting about our Relationships and decided
To amaze our men by Greeting them at the door
Wearing a black bra, Stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed To meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's How it all went.
My engaged Friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came
Over he Found me with a black leather bodice, tall
Stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are
The woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made
Passionate love all Night long.
The Mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
Wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels
And Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat
He didn't say a word, But he started to tremble and
We had wild sex all Night.
Then I had to share my Story:
When my husband came home I Was wearing the black bra,
Black stockings, stilettos And a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door And saw me he said,
"What's for Dinner, Batman?"
I had Lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is Engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been
Married for over 20 years.
We were chatting about our Relationships and decided
To amaze our men by Greeting them at the door
Wearing a black bra, Stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed To meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's How it all went.
My engaged Friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came
Over he Found me with a black leather bodice, tall
Stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are
The woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made
Passionate love all Night long.
The Mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
Wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels
And Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat
He didn't say a word, But he started to tremble and
We had wild sex all Night.
Then I had to share my Story:
When my husband came home I Was wearing the black bra,
Black stockings, stilettos And a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door And saw me he said,
"What's for Dinner, Batman?"
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